~Aleia "Aya"
~21 years old
~English/French
~Art History/Creative Writing & English
~*Feminist*
~ Bisexual
~Struggling Artist
~Hoop Dancer/Fire Performer
~Fitness
~Witch
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2014 is going to be MY YEAR

In 2013 I spent almost all of my time trying to make other people happy.
The result?
I started cutting, to the point where the bone was visible and I now have visible keloids on my arm.
I lost a very good relationship because I tried to make someone else who had no business butting in happy.
I finally came to terms with the sexual and emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of my former gay best friend.
I allowed my emotions to become so bottled up I started suffering horrific panic attacks.

But I learned from them.
So this year is going to be about me. Im going to do what I want and not worry about making other people happy at the expense of my own.
Call it selfish if you will.
But I have never been selfish my entire life and I fucking deserve to be.
So I’m going to do things I’ve always wanted, but have been too afraid to do.

This year I’m going to embrace me.
This year I’m going to learn to fight back.
I’m signed up for my first kickboxing/mama fight class tomorrow.
Because I’m tired of being too afraid to defend myself.
I’m tired of presenting a facade of happiness when in reality I’m suffering and crying myself to sleep most nights.
This year I’m taking care of me.
And if you think I’m being selfish stuff it.
Because I’m too tired to give a shit.

I think I look cute tonight.

I think I look cute tonight.

I’ve been reading this 95 chapter 423,000 word fanfiction for two hours and I think my eyeballs have become sunken in.

I’ve been reading this 95 chapter 423,000 word fanfiction for two hours and I think my eyeballs have become sunken in.

Channeling my inner diva tonight.
Aka.
Making my boytoy regret pissing me off. 
Also my lips be looking super pouty lately and i dont know why… :I

Channeling my inner diva tonight.

Aka.

Making my boytoy regret pissing me off. 

Also my lips be looking super pouty lately and i dont know why… :I

Is this the face of somebody who just watched the first season of Jackie Chan Adventures and is currently working on season 2?
Of course not.
I’m innocent. 
I need to sleep.

Is this the face of somebody who just watched the first season of Jackie Chan Adventures and is currently working on season 2?

Of course not.

I’m innocent. 

I need to sleep.

Things I want right now:

1. My car
2. A shit ton of money
3. My almost boyfriend
4. Sex
5. A rain/thunderstorm
6. My almost boyfriend back
7. Lots of summer sex

Is this so much to ask for?

TMI Tuesday

Leggo! 

Mom says I look pin-upy today.
Yay :D 

Mom says I look pin-upy today.

Yay :D 

This is what I looked like today….
So tell me why I got 4 different numbers while I was at work.
Like damn, where were you niggas when I was single?!

This is what I looked like today….

So tell me why I got 4 different numbers while I was at work.

Like damn, where were you niggas when I was single?!

Getting used to not wearing makeup. 
But I look decent after a shower though. 
Though I’ve noticed that as I lost weight I look a lot older than 20. Maybe this is why everyone is asking me why I don’t have any kids. -_-

Getting used to not wearing makeup.
But I look decent after a shower though.
Though I’ve noticed that as I lost weight I look a lot older than 20. Maybe this is why everyone is asking me why I don’t have any kids. -_-