In 2013 I spent almost all of my time trying to make other people happy.
I started cutting, to the point where the bone was visible and I now have visible keloids on my arm.
I lost a very good relationship because I tried to make someone else who had no business butting in happy.
I finally came to terms with the sexual and emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of my former gay best friend.
I allowed my emotions to become so bottled up I started suffering horrific panic attacks.
But I learned from them.
So this year is going to be about me. Im going to do what I want and not worry about making other people happy at the expense of my own.
Call it selfish if you will.
But I have never been selfish my entire life and I fucking deserve to be.
So I’m going to do things I’ve always wanted, but have been too afraid to do.
This year I’m going to embrace me.
This year I’m going to learn to fight back.
I’m signed up for my first kickboxing/mama fight class tomorrow.
Because I’m tired of being too afraid to defend myself.
I’m tired of presenting a facade of happiness when in reality I’m suffering and crying myself to sleep most nights.
This year I’m taking care of me.
And if you think I’m being selfish stuff it.
Because I’m too tired to give a shit.
I’ve been reading this 95 chapter 423,000 word fanfiction for two hours and I think my eyeballs have become sunken in.
Channeling my inner diva tonight.
Making my boytoy regret pissing me off.
Also my lips be looking super pouty lately and i dont know why… :I
Is this the face of somebody who just watched the first season of Jackie Chan Adventures and is currently working on season 2?
Of course not.
I need to sleep.
1. My car
2. A shit ton of money
3. My almost boyfriend
5. A rain/thunderstorm
6. My almost boyfriend back
7. Lots of summer sex
Is this so much to ask for?
This is what I looked like today….
So tell me why I got 4 different numbers while I was at work.
Like damn, where were you niggas when I was single?!